Daddy Dearest

The daddy that is supposed to be here to spoil and provide for her took off while she was still on life support in her mother’s belly. While attached to that umbilical cord she experienced the pain, fear, stress, and anguished the carrier lived during the unexpected and troubling departure of the “man” whose sperm had grown. The now is twelve years later, and daddy dearest is still of interest. Where, why, how, what she asks, while finding bits of love vicariously through the friends whose family portrait looks the norm, mommy and daddy. The ache this lack of love brings cannot be measured, for no scales are big enough to weight it. Her heart scream for the missed hugs, unknown laughs, the happy birthdays, the I love yous, the smiles, the smirks, the daddy whose appearance only take shapes in her dreams.

I know squat about these feelings, can’t relate to them, so I can’t write about them.