Sheeesh

‘Good Morning’, who on earth ever came up with that crap? I’ve yet to experience a so-called ‘good morning’ every time I’ve woken up in the morning it’s been bad. There is nothing good about waking up at 5 am; that’s unless you are being shaken awake by your attractive spouse for an early morning session. Since I am not married… well you know the rest; nothing is good about waking up before noon. Next time someone tells me good morning, I am going to ignore him or her; ‘good morning’ sheeeesh.

A friend of mine told me that she spent Thanksgiving naked in her room. She said it was quiet enjoyable too. While most guys would fantasize about her, turkey, and football, and not necessarily in that order, I could only think of one thing; I could only think that she didn’t fart for the whole day. See, whenever I’ve been in a room by myself, naked or not, whenever I fart, someone comes in. I’ve tested this theory in multiple settings, and always the same result. I should mention that I don’t count the times when I’m in the john, can, or whatever you call it. I know you want to test my theory, feel free to do so, if you ever need company just fart, people will show up. It is as if there is a force that attracts people to the small change in pressure that takes place when a new gas is introduced to a room. It’s a weird world we live in, very, very weird.