2-Step

People who’ve had broken limbs can feel rain coming; and experience pain when water starts flowing. It’s the same for all broken body parts, not only limbs; I am talking heart too, kind of. It doesn’t matter if it was self-mutilation, or an outsider’s malicious act; once that part of you is torn, it is torn for good. It leaves you only with the premonition of the rains to come. So with clear knowledge of moving liquid, I slowly turned myself into a turtle and got into my shell; the happy thoughts that have kept me afloat since the first day, and undoubtedly will provide refuge until the last.

One Step

I find myself reading old emails and feeling pain in the pit of my stomach. It’s never going to get easy, it never will. The phone buzzed, and your message was displayed on the screen, unexpected. I thought it a dream, cause only seconds before I really was dreaming, so I read it for a while, try to make sense of the symbols with my eyes before my brain could catch up. A bunch of ones and zeros, the universal language that came to signify feelings; I looked, then I didn’t. I think it started raining too, briefly, but it did, at least to me it did, cause stuff got wet, and I ached…