Sheeesh

‘Good Morning’, who on earth ever came up with that crap? I’ve yet to experience a so-called ‘good morning’ every time I’ve woken up in the morning it’s been bad. There is nothing good about waking up at 5 am; that’s unless you are being shaken awake by your attractive spouse for an early morning session. Since I am not married… well you know the rest; nothing is good about waking up before noon. Next time someone tells me good morning, I am going to ignore him or her; ‘good morning’ sheeeesh.

A friend of mine told me that she spent Thanksgiving naked in her room. She said it was quiet enjoyable too. While most guys would fantasize about her, turkey, and football, and not necessarily in that order, I could only think of one thing; I could only think that she didn’t fart for the whole day. See, whenever I’ve been in a room by myself, naked or not, whenever I fart, someone comes in. I’ve tested this theory in multiple settings, and always the same result. I should mention that I don’t count the times when I’m in the john, can, or whatever you call it. I know you want to test my theory, feel free to do so, if you ever need company just fart, people will show up. It is as if there is a force that attracts people to the small change in pressure that takes place when a new gas is introduced to a room. It’s a weird world we live in, very, very weird.

Likes || Life

The pressure to write, fuck that. I’ve never felt pressure to write, cause when I don’t feel like writing, I just don’t write. That’s one of the last enjoyable thing I have in my life, and I am not going to let it go. The only other things that I find to be enjoyable are basketball, video games, sitcoms, wine conversations, breakfast at IHOP at 3 am, sleeping, sleeping in on Sunday morning, cuddling after a sex session, listen to music in my car, deep thinking, daydreaming, flirting, my mom’s food, and hugs from Renee. I know, it’s a longer list than most, but I am schizophrenic.

It’s unfortunate when death strikes unexpectedly. It takes you by surprise, and kind of put a sense of reality to the fragility of life. In my posting yesterday ‘End of the World 101?’ I asked what was so bad about dying; it didn’t take me long to get my answer. After talking to a friend who just very recently lost a close loved one, I realized that death causes pain to the ones you love, and that’s bad enough to make it an undesirable thing. Although the dead himself/herself may not feel bad about the act of dying, it is the withdrawal of this person’s presence from our lives that causes a problem.
Life is a circle, every beginning has an end; we all eventually have to go back to the maker.

End of the World 101?

While discussing THIS VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING topic with a dear, sweet, friend of mine, I’ve come to realize that my feelings about the subject matter were never made clear to me. I mean while discussing the issue, I came to a logical conclusion. The conclusion, mind you, is one that I don’t particularly like, nor feel comfortable with; however, it’s the logical one, and I came to it by my lonesome.

Will the world end at some point? Yes, it will. Simple as that, this world that we now enjoy will become a massive graveyard at one point or another. Why you must be asking, why do I think that the world will end? Well, from the very beginning of history men have been in conflict. Remember Kane and Abel if you will. The world has never known a prolonged period of peace. Think about your history lessons. Now that we have weapons capable of creating death on a cataclysmic scale, it is only a matter of time before death is made widespread. The bible predicts it, the dinosaurs experienced it, and so it is inevitable.
Now that we know it will come, maybe the next question is, what is so bad about death? Why are we so afraid of dying?

More, mas, encore

Dependency is when nothing is happening on the inside, and you need to rely on having some stimulation from the outside world to feel your worth. How many of us can stay in a room without having the TV on, without having anyone one near, without any drugs as company, and not freak out. In a room by yourself, judging everything that your life stands for, thinking of all the decisions you’ve made during the course of your existence, face the music for what it's worth. Some people never see the work that's been done, only what's left to be done. It's just a statement; I am neither pro, nor con. This time of the year when happiness gets wrapped up in colorful paper, when the exchange of materialistic things take precedence over the real thing, when love is weight by the price tag, when people become sheeple, I chose to stand aside. HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY-

slriG

I like girls

with PHAT asses

and small waist

good smelling hair

and great tasting lips

Beautiful smile

And firm breasts

girls with a switch in their walk

and a pep in their talk

girls with crazy street smart

and a college degree

I love girls

Johnny & Erica

He had chocked on it, it was the first time the paramedics had seen anything like that, Johnny had chocked on vomit. Not his own vomit, but his girlfriend’s. On the night of December 31st the two teens rented a room at ShareEthan. During the early hours of the night, they coerced a homeless person into purchasing a large quantity of alcohol. No much is now between the time of purchase until the time of death. However, it can be deduced that the following course of action took place. Erica and Johnny were intimate, she performed oral sex, and they both consumed a large amount of alcohol. It is believed that Johnny lost consciousness and Erica proceeded to kiss the young man, sometimes between her spreading his lips, and her losing consciousness herself, Erica forcefully vomited in Johnny’s open mouth. The main item in the melee of white mucus, semen, and repugnant green semi-digested food believed to be responsible in clogging Johnny’s esophagus was a piece of un-chewed meat.

We Are Screwed

Watch out for what your eyes show you, for they often don’t tell the whole truth. While in deep thought, I came to a conclusion that shook my foundation, and caused me great discomfort. For eons I’ve thought (yes I’ve been thinking for eons cause my mind speed run circles around the speed of light) that males were in control, now I realized that we are mere puppets. Males have been doing the ‘physical fucking’ since God breathed life into Adam, and Females have been doing the ‘mental fucking’ prior to Adam biting that apple. The code has always been there, but I, and many others like me, have chosen to ignore it for it was not encoded. I was right when I said that marriage was death; fuck the feelings that are being damaged as they read, I am right. They should force the groom to bite an apple at the altar; I know I will.

Grey

"He woke up to find the weight of the world on this shoulders, how could you move when the weight of the world were pressing you down, holding you down like a rapist about to take what he/she is not given. So, he stayed in bed, and thought about how nothing was right with his life, with his being. The job was a sinecure that provided a grizzly pay, the car was a lemon; he remember not long ago he’d swear to never be caught dead in anything that resembled it. It was funny he thought, now he could literally be found dead in it. The “love life” was… there was no “love life” to put an adjective to. What conceivable reason did he have to roll out of his sack of hey on this day, what did he have to look forward to? As he formulated those thoughts, tears ran down the side of his face and settled in his earlobe."

Future Ex Thinking

"You have a way of making me miss you, I am certain you don’t know that, but I do. With your display of innocent detachment you kept your goddess-like aura intact. You departed my world without causing a visible wreck, and for that I am grateful, and for that I’ll forever miss you.
I am afraid to put this disk in my player, cause I know as the first sounds invade the quiet space that surrounds me, your memories will do likewise. I put it in regardless cause sometimes I like the pain. It is my favorite masochistic moment, the certainty of your touches gone until the end of time. I listen to the rhythms that had brought us together, caused us to collide into each other. Nothing had ever been so perfect; we were the first, and the last".

Reaction

Why do I think so much? I swear, I think about the reaction that’s going to come from almost every action. I often can see what’s going to come from it, though sometimes I won’t benefit from the outcome, I still follow the original course of action. Why do I do that you ask? Well, many factors come to play, it’s whether or not I am enjoying the present, and whether my current enjoyment rank higher than the pain that will settle in later. It goes the opposite way too; sometimes I endure the tribulation, with the expectation of great rewards. I think many people see religion as such; it’s a system that causes you to suffer now, with the expectation for eternal joy. It’s like going to the gym, pumping iron, and feeling good afterwards. Only with religion, in the afterlife it will be an eternal ‘good feeling’, you’ll have a forever lasting six-pac or eight-pac with lots of girls thinking you look great. I don’t think we were meant to suffer on earth in order to find comfort in the forever after. There has to be a balance between the now, and the life that is to come when you are without breath.

Half-Time

I have no true feelings in me at the moment, and that’s bothering me. I have no passion for anything as we speak, as I type. I can confidently say that I am dead on the inside; more precisely I am currently comatose. I feel a little bit of ‘love’, a tiny hint of ‘desperation’, some level of ‘melancholy’, a sprinkle of ‘dislike’, the average level of ‘hopelessness’, and your steady dose of ‘happiness’. With this myriad of feelings one must truly be alive you say, I say no. If I am not driven by one more than the others, then I am luck warm, and as mentioned in the good book, I shall be spitted out.

Here

The reoccurring theme of my current love affair with life keeps showing up, maybe that’s why it’s called ‘reoccurring’. I didn’t want to wake up this morning, my bed was warm, the rest of the house was cold. In my hurried state to fall in bed, I accidentally turned the thermostat knob in the wrong direction, thus leaving me with a house where the temperature wouldn’t go above 65 degrees. Anyway, I don’t want to be here, that’s the reoccurring theme; ‘I don’t want to be here’. Where on earth is here anyway you ask, well ‘here’ is wherever I am at the moment that I don’t want to be. Wrap your lips around that for a few while I go out and gather that data.

11-03-04

I am so upset that I’ve got little of anything seating still in me. The accumulation of everything that’s happened since this week took life has only demanded that I put mine on hold, indefinitely. Common sense is obviously not that common to most people who reside in this country. I am just going to scream in peace, hold my stuff, and scream in peace.
song of the moment: Eminem's MOSH

Women-mines

While most guys were grieving the lost of their favorite team, I was wondering about how I came to be in this situation. Sunday nights have such a magical way of making me feel inadequate. I guess the major question that is to be asked is: why do I care so much? I have other fish to fry man, they may not be bigger, but they are to be fried just as well (I am not talking about chicks either). I shouldn’t feel like crap about it, I didn’t do anything wrong, I just didn’t do anything right either. I am allowed what I’ve taken, because I’ve been granted the opportunity to do just that; why do such things spring out of it. The written laws weren’t broken, I mean nothing was done illegally, not a thing; yet, I’ve been found guilty, I feel guilty. This is not therapy, cause I am not feeling any better about it.